Graham's Eyes

Background
I took Graham to the ophthalmologist yesterday. Basically, I left with no answers and more worries. Just to catch you up... it all started after the heart surgery. When they took him off of a medicine (vasopressin - for sedation, pain, and heart rate) and he had some withdrawal. His whole body was jittery for a few hours until they gave him a dose of a similar medicine to help wean him off the first medicine. His body stopped shaking but his eyes never did. While in the hospital I brought it up several times but the doctors were not concerned (probably b/c it had nothing to do with his heart) and said to follow up with the pediatrician. Well the pediatrician visit after Graham's surgery was complete chaos as Graham screamed the whole time and his eyes didn't get discussed. When we went to the cardiologist last Monday, he was surprised to see Graham's nystagmus (bouncy eyes) and said they don't usually see anything like that and that we should take him to an ophthalmologist.

Eye Appointment
Graham was in a good mood for the exam even though we were there for 2 hours. I was so thankful for this. They examined him, then gave him eye drops to dilate his eyes and send us back to the waiting room for 20 mins., then did some more exams. The doctor didn't see any obvious issues with the various parts of his eyes. He said that the nystagmus (bouncy eyes) could be a symptom of an eye problem or the nystagmus could be the problem. Some babies are born with nystagmus. He was a bit baffled that Graham's developed after surgery. There is no way to really test Graham's vision as a 6 month old since he can't read an alphabet chart. The doc did say that Graham doesn't seem to be to focus on an object as well as most 6 month olds can. The doctor did not have any answers for us. He said he was diagnosing him as having cortical visual impairment, whatever that means, and to come back in 3 months.

That's it. No medicine. No eye exercises. Nothing. I asked. So we don't really know what is going on. We don't know how well he can see. We don't know if the nystagmus is causing damage to the eyes.

I asked if he thought it could be a neurological problem. I mentioned that Graham had some funny movements that the pediatrician wasn't too concerned about, had given us a referral to the neurologist, but we never went. He said it would be worth it to see an neurologist and see what they say. Neurological testing could likely involve putting Graham to sleep to study his brain. An eye problem is scary. A brain problem is terrifying.

Mommy's Thoughts
I was quite discouraged yesterday. We just got through the heart surgery and I was ready to enjoy life with a healthy little boy... and now his eyes. This morning I decided that I better spend some time in the Word and I am sure glad that I did.

Psalm 42:5
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.

Why is my soul in despair? Have I already forgotten how God brought us through the heart surgery? Surely He will bring us through this too and I will again praise Him. Lloyd-Jones says, "Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself"? I must be like the psalmist and preach to myself, tell myself the truth, the truth of God's sovereignty and love and salvation.

I don't really know what to think or pray for Graham's eyes except that God would heal Him.

Pictures

 So sweet.

(Disclaimer: Graham usually sleeps in his nursery. He was in our bed on this special occasion b/c I desperately needed him to sleep until a certain time so he could be well rested and fed for the eye appointment.)

 

Graham wearing his sunglasses after being dilated for his eye appointment. What a stud.